Featured image for “DESPERATE DREAMS”


September 10, 2023

Dear friends,

You may have heard or read my stories several times but today I come with a slight tweak. Please come with me.

It was in 2011 when I got awarded the Total Scholarship. I was an undergraduate student at the time and winning a scholarship for the first time was such an explosive experience.

After being awarded the scholarship, I became desperate about securing more scholarships particularly about studying for an M.Sc abroad. Although I was just in my 3rd year in University, I began to search for organisations that offered scholarships for postgraduate studies abroad.

AAP pretending to look good

This desperate desire remained in me to the point that when I finished my compulsory National Youth Service in Gboko, Benue State, the school I served wanted to retain me as a Biology teacher but I humbly declined and told the Principal that I wanted to go back home and plan towards a postgraduate study. I did not even have a well-formed plan. I was simply desperate. This was the year 2014.

Fast forward to 2016, I was working in an NGO in Lafia Nasarawa state but I knew I wanted to get an M.Sc and even while working, I applied to schools home and abroad. I applied to a few Nigerian schools to study Public Health but I had no idea of how I was going to fund my studies because my salary at the time was not going to be enough to pay for a PG study in Nigeria. I was so desperate about my dream and kept reminding myself that if I got offered admission, a solution will present itself. My Executive Director at the time Mary Ashenanye was so kind to be a referee for every application I did. She was so supportive. Bless her.

Fortunately, I got awarded 2 prestigious scholarships and I settled to undertake an M.Sc in the UK. The rest they say is history.

Having the desperate dream of studying on a scholarship abroad meant the following:

  1. I networked aggressively with people who had secured foreign scholarships.
  2. My thoughts were clouded with the idea of scholarships and I will spend hours looking at the social media pages of people studying abroad just to imagine how it will feel if I was the one. Now I know how it feels😀.
  3. I was on the constant lookout for scholarships and opportunities abroad. My laptop was ALWAYS with me.
  4. I developed skills that made me marketable and ready for scholarships.

I may not know what your dreams are but I present you with a template that worked for me. I simply had “desperate dreams”. I still have desperate dreams about some things and I am still working towards them. Please note that it is one thing to have desperate dreams and another to consciously work towards them. I am also aware that not everyone has the same privilege to work towards their dreams. For instance, I was fortunate to even go to University and get an education. Many may have dreams but lack such privilege. If I was not privileged to get an education, perhaps I would have been somewhere different. However, what it means is that I would have had a different “desperate dream”.

It may be easy for me to say because I speak from a place of privilege but this is an honest account of my story hoping that no matter where you are, you may be encouraged to remain “desperate” with your dreams and work towards them with faith that you will smile in the end.

My desperate dreams began in 2011. It took me 5 years to achieve them. Note, of course, that many hurdles came along the way but my desperate dream saw me through.

It may take you a shorter or longer time but I invite you today to remain DESPERATE with your DREAM.

See you at the top dear desperate dreamer.



✂️ AAhashem Agwai
🩴 @X Collections Ng
📷 Squeezim