It was the night of 7th January, 2006 and I was just preparing to go to the hospital where she was hospitalized and continually suffered in pain then the HUGE news came- I HAD LOST HER.
She was in so much pain that at some point I asked God to take her life so the pain could go (YES! It was that bad and sad). She hardly recognized her own son. I didn’t know whether to thank God or weep. It’s been 11 years and I had never made a public post but as I reflect on her love today, I got drenched with words (what other way to get them off?)
I remember when she gave me the best birthday while I was still in high school (Jss3) but will not take a picture (I struggled to smile in the pictures) because she was already really sick and I suppose she didn’t want her son looking at the picture several years in the future and weeping that his mother was the way she was (massive love even in pain). It was the last birthday she was going to make colorful. Oh! It was the best birthday I have ever had and the talk of the school at the time. In her nothingness, she gave me the best.
Looking at these pictures, I imagine what she could have been smiling at, perhaps an envisaged bright future of her new child but was she going to be part of it? I guess NOT. She even took me for baptism. Preparing me spiritually from birth. Today, I can raise my head because she worked so hard. Oh! Death, where was your kindness? You should have left her a little longer to see today. Instead of a birthday, it’s a Deathday.
Her death killed me as well but also gave me the chance to take my bull by its horn, it somewhat made me stronger. On this day, I reflect on these questions
1. Am I where she would have wanted me to be?
2. Will she be proud and smile when she looks down?
3. Am I working hard enough?
I guess these are questions that will remain unanswered as she alone can answer them.
To my friends and family reading this, trust me, nothing surpasses a mother’s love (but that is an obvious line isn’t it?). LOVE YOUR MOTHER and PRAY FOR HER.
She was known by a popular name (Aunty 1) but recently a new name was coined for her (Diva Mag)
Rest on DivaMag. I will keep climbing for you and I hope to keep you smiling.